Why is everbody always pickin' on me?
    The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor
  He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca
  The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me
  I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookie
  What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son
  He's looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and Hong Kong Phooey all in one
  To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu lookin'
  I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin'
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby
  Why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali
  I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you
  So back me up Bill yea and you're ugly too
  So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese
  Or where a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeans
  And my mirror never lies but it always verifies
  I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie
  You compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand
  Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man
  And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first
  But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse
  About as popular with the girls with Englebert Humperdink
  And that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink
  I know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard
  It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky
  Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased
  And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSD
  Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger with coconuts
  As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside their grass hut
  Oh he'll kill again that Gilligan they he should of let him be
  And like a postal clerk I'll go beserk if you don't stop teasing me
  See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm
  Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
  The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
  The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
  The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
  The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
  The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
  The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
  The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
  The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
  But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
  Cause no one likes you monkey boy.